You know you’ve been on the road too long when…

…you get panic attacks if separated from a Lonely Planet for more than two hours

…you haven’t worn high heels in so long they make you walk like a man in drag

…haggling over 2p can take hours

…your beard is so long people ask if you’re Iranian (yes, this did happen)

…you have to give each other’s clothes a cleanliness check before allowing them out in public (thanks R&D for that one)

…items you’ve lost/left behind/ruined/worn out outnumber those you’ve purchased

…bin men and cleaners all dress smarter than you

…you forget how to add up, spell or perform simple everyday tasks

…toilet habits are a key conversation topic

…you can guess the nationality of any backpacker at 20 paces

…the only foreign vocabulary you can remember is the 3Bs (beer, bed, bus)

…you have at least 1kg of worthless coins from various countries and are keeping them just in case (in case what? you meet a Croatian in need of small change?)

…sharing clothes and toiletries is the norm rather than exception (will I ever get those socks back? do I want to??)

…you’ve collected the email addresses of countless people you’ll never contact

…your backpack contains random items such as Marmite, Worcestershire sauce, a stolen fork and handful of sheep’s fleece (again, seriously, and all at once)

…you think nothing of washing your feet in a public drinking fountain (oh yes)

…you never want to hear another Bob Marley song. Ever. Again

…washing with 2 wet wipes is quite a decent bath

…you adopt local gestures and words without any sense of irony – the Indian head wiggle and NZ “eh” can appear in the same sentence

…you have to think really hard to find an excuse not to drink at lunchtime

…7-8 hours sleep isn’t enough any more